{"id":2625,"date":"2020-10-24T02:38:49","date_gmt":"2020-10-24T00:38:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nadinewilmanns.com\/?p=2625"},"modified":"2025-04-18T22:09:44","modified_gmt":"2025-04-18T20:09:44","slug":"criticism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nadinewilmanns.com\/de\/criticism","title":{"rendered":"Criticism: Five thoughts"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Words and Photography by Nadine Wilmanns<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tKlick hier f\u00fcr den Text auf Deutsch oder scrolle weiter nach unten <\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Criticism - 5 Thoughts<\/h1>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Today I had to face harsh and personal criticism. And while I knew I shouldn`t \u201ctake it personally\u201d, I didn`t know what that really means let alone how to do it. So, I`ve let this offence drain a lot of my energy \u2013 really, I felt like just having played Wimbledon (and lost) by the end of the day. Do you know that feeling? So, while I`m clearly not an expert in dealing with criticism, I`ve thought about some ideas about this, that might be helpful to share. Because when we get better at dealing with criticism not only will we preserve our energy, but we won`t dread offence so much and won`t let it hold us back from becoming braver as a professional and as a person.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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It`s more about the criticizer<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Anyway, back to the story: Lucky enough I had a coaching session scheduled tonight. This was brilliant timing to discuss the issue. And I think I finally can make use of this \u201cDon`t take it personally\u201d: It often has nothing to do with us as a person, when being criticized, but in fact with the person who is criticizing. \u201cHurting people hurt people\u201d, says Joyce Meyer. Equally one could say: People who feel attacked attack others. While talking about the situation I understood why the person who offended me did so. That doesn`t make the attack less mean but we are likely to not feel so angry about it knowing why the person offended us. So, I think it`s helpful to calmly analyze the situation that we have been criticized about to see why the other person has said what she has said.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Take notice of successful moments <\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Secondly, I can obviously recommend talking to somebody (but not ranting) who doesn\u2019t judge. Who reminds us that if the criticism was justified we can work on ourselves. And that either way we have a lot of successes and achievements, too.<\/p>

Talking about achievements: It`s helpful to really take notice of achievements as they happen. So that we can remember them in these kinds of situations. Only yesterday I`ve received best grade for my final work for my journalism degree and I hardly acknowledged it (not half as much as I took notice of this criticism today). So, I think taking a picture of these successful moments (big or small) or just writing a note in my planner might be a useful habit.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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I wish I had said...<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Another thing I struggled with, was to find the \u201cright words\u201d in the moment of attack. It was only afterwards that I came up with the phrases that I wished I had said. However, it helps to nevertheless say those phrases out loud afterwards \u2013 just for ourselves then. Because having practised, we will eventually find an appropriate peaceful response in a “real” situation, one that also honours what we think.<\/p>

Oh, and not to forget: I think a good first aid after having been attacked is to be a good friend to ourselves. Which means that we don`t hurry on with the day but slow down a bit and maybe sip a coffee or tea, slip into soft clothes, say a little prayer and allow for a little downtime. Of course, it would be brilliant to be a superwoman with the perfect mindset who never gets upset but just moves on with her day. But hey, then again, taking things to heart also means that we have a heart, no?<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Kritik - 5 \u00dcberlegungen<\/h1>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Heute hat mich jemand ziemlich hart und pers\u00f6nlich kritisiert. Zwar wusste ich, dass ich das \u201enicht pers\u00f6nlich nehmen\u201c soll, aber mir war nicht klar, was das genau bedeutet und schon gar nicht wie das geht. Also habe ich mir von dieser Sache viel Energie rauben lassen \u2013 ehrlich, ich hab mich heute Abend gef\u00fchlt, als h\u00e4tte ich Wimbledon gespielt (und verloren). Kennst du das Gef\u00fchl? Wie du siehst bin ich nicht gerade ein Experte darin, mit Angriffen umzugehen. Aber ich dachte, ich schreibe ein paar Ideen dar\u00fcber auf, die uns in Zukunft helfen k\u00f6nnten. Denn wenn wir besser mit Kritik umgehen k\u00f6nnen, dann k\u00f6nnen wir nicht nur unsere Energie sparen, sondern wir f\u00fcrchten uns nicht mehr so sehr davor, angegriffen zu werden und dadurch werden wir mutiger im Job und \u00fcberhaupt als Mensch.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Es geht eher um den, der Kritik \u00fcbt<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Jedenfalls zur\u00fcck zur Story: Gl\u00fccklicherweise hatte ich heute Abend eine Coaching Stunde, das war also super Timing um die Sache zu besprechen. Und ich denke, ich kann jetzt mit diesem \u201eNimm`s nicht pers\u00f6nlich\u201c was anfangen: Es hat oft \u00fcberhaupt nichts mit uns als Person zu tun, wenn uns jemand kritisiert, sondern mit der Person, die die Kritik \u00e4u\u00dfert. \u201eVerletze Menschen verletzen Menschen\u201c, sagt Joyce Meyer. Genauso k\u00f6nnte man sagen: Leute, die sich angegriffen f\u00fchlen, greifen andere an. Als ich \u00fcber die Situation, wegen der die Person mich angegriffen hat, gesprochen habe, habe ich verstanden, warum sie das gemacht hat. Das macht den Angriff nicht weniger gemein, aber wir sind doch nicht mehr so sauer, wenn wir verstehen, warum uns jemand angreift. Also ich denke, es ist hilfreich, die Situation ruhig zu untersuchen wegen der wir kritisiert wurden, um zu sehen, warum die andere Person uns angegriffen hat.\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Halte Erfolgsmomente fest<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Au\u00dferdem kann ich nat\u00fcrlich sehr empfehlen, die Sache mit jemandem zu besprechen (ohne zu schimpfen oder zu l\u00e4stern), der nicht urteilt. Der uns daran erinnert, dass wir an dem arbeiten k\u00f6nnen, f\u00fcr das wir zu Recht kritisiert worden sind. Und dass wir \u2013 so oder so \u2013 auch schon viele Erfolge hatten.<\/p>

Apropos Erfolge: Mir ist mal wieder klar geworden, wie hilfreich es ist, wirklich Notiz von Erfolgsmomenten und Lob zu nehmen, um sich dann in schwierigen Situationen daran zu erinnern. Gerade gestern habe ich eine Eins f\u00fcr meine Abschlussarbeit f\u00fcr mein Journalismus-Studium bekommen und ich habe es gar nicht geb\u00fchrend gefeiert. Tats\u00e4chlich habe ich dem nicht mal halb so viel Beachtung geschenkt, wie dieser Kritik heute. Also ich denke, es ist eine gute Gewohnheit von Erfolgsmomenten (auch den Kleineren) ein Foto zu machen oder zumindest eine Notiz im Terminkalender.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Ich w\u00fcnschte ich h\u00e4tte...<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Noch eine Sache, die ich schwierig fand, war die \u201crichtigen Worte\u201d zu finden als die Frau mir all ihre Anschuldigungen entgegenwarf. Erst sp\u00e4ter sind mir die S\u00e4tze eingefallen, die ich h\u00e4tte sagen wollen. Allerdings ist es hilfreich, diese S\u00e4tze trotzdem \u2013 dann einfach danach und nur f\u00fcr mich selbst \u2013 zu sagen. Denn wenn wir das \u00fcben, finden wir irgendwann auch friedliche passende Antworten in der”echten” Situation, eine die auch das was wir selbst denken wertsch\u00e4tzt.<\/p>

Oh, und nicht zu vergessen: Ich denke eine gute Erste Hilfe nach Kritik ist es, uns selbst ein guter Freund zu sein. Das hei\u00dft, dass wir nicht einfach weiterhetzen, sondern ein bisschen langsam machen, vielleicht einen Kaffee oder Tee schl\u00fcrfen, in weiche Wohlf\u00fchlkleidung schl\u00fcpfen, ein kleines Gebet losschicken und uns eine Mini-Auszeit g\u00f6nnen. Klar w\u00e4re es toll, Superwoman zu sein, die das perfekte Mindset hat und die sich nie angegriffen f\u00fchlt, sondern einfach mit ihrem Tag weitermacht. Aber hey, wenn wir uns Dinge zu Herzen nehmen, dann hei\u00dft das doch eigentlich vor allem, dass wir ein Herz haben, oder?<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How to deal with criticism. Five thoughts after a rather harsh experience with criticism. <\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3466,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[48,393],"tags":[183,182,146,195,180,51,53,72,57,173,174],"post_folder":[],"class_list":["post-2625","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-business-creativity","tag-creativejob","tag-creativelife","tag-creativity","tag-criticism","tag-freelancelife","tag-life","tag-lifestyle","tag-mindset","tag-photography","tag-photographyblog","tag-photographyblogger"],"yoast_head":"\nCriticism: Five thoughts ⋆ Blog ⋆ Nadine Wilmanns<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"On my blog I write about photography, fashion, creativity and freelance life. 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To simplify things has literally saved my mental life.","rel":"","context":"In "Notes"","block_context":{"text":"Notes","link":"https:\/\/nadinewilmanns.com\/de\/category\/notes"},"img":{"alt_text":"Simplify","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nadinewilmanns.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/20250413_DSC4043.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nadinewilmanns.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/20250413_DSC4043.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nadinewilmanns.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/20250413_DSC4043.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nadinewilmanns.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/20250413_DSC4043.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nadinewilmanns.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/20250413_DSC4043.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3130,"url":"https:\/\/nadinewilmanns.com\/de\/lockdown-photography","url_meta":{"origin":2625,"position":5},"title":"Lockdown Photography","author":"Nadine Wilmanns","date":"2021-01-09","format":false,"excerpt":"HOW HARD TIMES CAN HELP YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY. Do you recall the last days before your personal Corona lockdown? I remember them like it was yesterday and the pictures that I`ve taken.","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/nadinewilmanns.com\/de\/category\/blog"},"img":{"alt_text":"lockdown photography rubber gloves on washing machine","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nadinewilmanns.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/nadine_pics.for_.the_.gram-Web.Export.Headerbild-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nadinewilmanns.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/nadine_pics.for_.the_.gram-Web.Export.Headerbild-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nadinewilmanns.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/nadine_pics.for_.the_.gram-Web.Export.Headerbild-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nadinewilmanns.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/nadine_pics.for_.the_.gram-Web.Export.Headerbild-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nadinewilmanns.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/nadine_pics.for_.the_.gram-Web.Export.Headerbild-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nadinewilmanns.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2625","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nadinewilmanns.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nadinewilmanns.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nadinewilmanns.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nadinewilmanns.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2625"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/nadinewilmanns.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2625\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21838,"href":"https:\/\/nadinewilmanns.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2625\/revisions\/21838"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nadinewilmanns.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3466"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nadinewilmanns.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2625"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nadinewilmanns.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2625"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nadinewilmanns.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2625"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nadinewilmanns.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=2625"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}